2023: metanoia

—metanoia

 (n.) the journey of changing one’s mind, heart, self, or way of life. 

January 1st, 2023. 

I called this day a funeral day—a day where I buried every negative thoughts, habits, and deeds I’ve done in 2022 deep within the ground. It’s not an easy thing to let go of things that has been attached within you for a long time. However, the more I followed those negative things, the more it drained my energy and I realized how harmful the impacts are for my future self.

I learned new things each day and it actually helps me to grow as an individual, especially if I learned new interesting perspective about life from other people. When I listen to people with growth mindset, it completely changed the way I view life. I just realized I had a fixed mindset before I listen to those people and it actually messed up to have a that kind of mindset. You will just stuck in one place forever, trapped inside a bubble of your comfort zone. From my perspective, fixed mindset will never make you grow and there are so many opportunities out there that you’re missing out.

So then, I decided I want to change the way I live my life. I want to live with positive thoughts, habits, and deeds in 2023. I remembered someone told me: “The things that comes to you depends on your energy. When you’re letting out a negative energy, you’re going to attract negative things. Opposite from that, positive things will make their way to you if you let out positive energy.” 

Because of her words, I rethink every decision I made last year and I regret them all. But then again, regretting them won’t change anything and it will just burdened my mind, which is pointless and wasting my time. All I can do right now is to take the lesson from my mistakes and not repeating the same thing twice. What’s in the past, let it stay in the past. 

—for 2023 and the years to come.

This year, I want to have a fresh start by creating a new productive routine, such as  bicycling for 1 hour at 6 a.m on the weekend to breath a fresh air from the morning. Aside from refreshing my lungs, it is also how I thank God for giving me another chance to live and be the better version of myself.

It may be a simple thing, but it’s slowly could change my habits into a healthier one. 

Aside from that, I’ve also listed things I must achieve this year on a whiteboard and put it on a wall near my desk. It’s more like a to-do list. Trust me, having a to-do list will make your life so much easier and it will make your life become much more organized, because you already have a schedule that you must execute. 

The main goal I have to achieve this year is to get into my dream university, which is Universitas Padjadjaran (UNPAD). I want to be accepted into my dream major, which is Public Relations (Humas) and the second option is English Literature. My parents fully supported me to get into this university and the major. 

The reason I want to study in Public Relations major is that I love to communicate with people and socializing. I love to meet new people and new environment, so that I could gain new experiences. Socializing for me is truly beneficial, because you could expand your networking and you might gain important relations from meeting new people. With this way, you’re not just having a friend, but also a business partner. 

I want to graduate from college with cumme laude and if it’s possible, I want to continue my study for a Postgraduate Program to gain Second Bachelor’s Degree (S2) in a foreign university. 

To achieve all of those things, I must follow each step of the progress carefully and be as efficient as I could, because there is no more time to waste. 

The very basic step is that improving my learning skill, by study harder and stretch my knowledge as vast as I could. I started by reading some books that relates to my goals for 30 minutes per day and watch some videos or even a movie that could guide me to my target.

Aside from being a Public Relation in a corporation, I desire to build my own business and become a business woman. The idea of having my own business somehow made me thrill and I want to make my parents happy by becoming a successful woman. 

My parents are the one who raised me until I am this well with so much patient and they’ve spent a lot of their times, money, and energy on me. The only way I could repay their efforts for all this time is to become a successful person and support their life on their old days. I want them to live their life to the fullest and not worried about anything else besides themselves. I want to make sure that they got everything they need.

I also want to travel the world and go to places I’ve never been before to seek new experiences. I’d love to learn about the country I visit; its culture, people, history, and even their language.

—with love, dey.